Wauchula Peace River

This Awkward Adventure Girl is almost always ready for an adventure. I may not be the most graceful or skilled but I am ready to try. Try and probably yip, groan and bitch...just for added effect.

My partner and I ended 2022 kayaking the Peace River in Wauchula, Florida. This was one of the first warm days after a cold spell. The north and eastern states experienced blizzards with accumulations of multiple feet of snow. Feeling generous these states shared their cold weather with Florida. It was so cold when we arrived the lizards were falling from the trees. True to form I missed this spectacle. Next time, fingers crossed. This day the sun was shining bright, with comfortable temperatures. I still donned by wetsuit pants.

Although we are experienced and practiced with unloading our two-person kayak, my awkwardness is still evident. I feel so proud of myself every time I help get the kayak where it needs to be. This was a good day. With the kayak safely on the ground David leaves to park the truck. I busily fumble trying to remember where to attach the seats, cooler and speaker. I was connecting the paddles when my nosy self noticed a cop walking the bank of the river. His thumbs were hooked into what I believe was a Kevlar vest, eyes trained on the water. As he came closer, I asked what he was looking for in the water. Officer Gringer shared he was checking the water because he wanted to go fishing after work. That was much better than the creations of my overactive imagination. I had envisioned lost swimmer, dead bodies as the reason. He shared the river was flowing a little faster today and it was a beautiful day to be on the river.

When my partner returns, I volunteer the officer was checking the river so he could go fishing after work. With a shit eating grin David says, "Did he tell you about the alligators in the river?"

Shooting an incredulous look toward the officer, I say "There are no alligators in this river, right? He's just kidding".

Officer Gringer smiled big. "I wouldn't want to lie to you. You could see and big gator and be upset because that officer didn't tell me there were alligators here".

"So, there are alligators?" I said as I processed my lack of swimming skills, the potential for the kayak to dump and an alligator confrontation. I was brought back to the moment hearing officer Gringer say, "Yup, there are alligators. Today is the first nice day since the cold snap. You may see a few sunning on the bank. With the fast river they have eaten. You may even see a few people panning for fossils."

Crap! Double Crap!! Too late to back out now. I voiced my positive affirmations to God, and my host of angels and climb into the kayak. I used my non-existent x-ray vision to scan the launch area. I climbed my awkward butt into the front of the kayak.

When David climbs in the kayak tips slightly. I swear my heart stopped. I was absolutely not falling into this river. I gripped the sides of the kayak as he settles in. My nearsighted eyes constantly scanning and searching. My scanning skills rivaled the FBI protecting the president.

"Okay, we are heading to the left", said David. I began paddling. Before long I was distracted by the scenery, the feel and smell of the river. Finding my awkward paddling rhythm. I am in the zone. Happy. From the back of the kayak I hear "on your left". Slightly confused because we are not on a walking trail. What the heck is he talking about? I turn my head to see him pointing to the shore. My eyes follow his finger only to find an alligator posted up on the sandy bank sunning himself. It was definitely an OMG moment. Quickly followed by relief. This gator's focus was on the sun, not me.

The Peace River did not disappoint. It is a beautiful ride. I was treated to many beautiful birds swooping and soaring, turtles as well as colorful foliage. At some point I was not scanning the water. My eyes were skyward. At one point I asked David if Florida had monkeys. Luckily, he has adjusted to my nonsensical randomness and crazy questions. Thankfully, he doesn't question my intelligence. I was certain I saw a monkey moving in the trees.

"No monkeys in Florida". He is a man of few words. No further commentary.

Ok, no monkeys in Florida. I figured maybe I saw one of the Argentine lizards moving in the trees. Who knows, this is Florida.

This whole monkey in the trees comes back to bite me in my ample behind. "David, David! There's an alligator sliding into the water" I am trying to calmly with minimal movement point to the gator slipping into the water. "Are you sure?", he questions with a bored sounding voice.

"Really, I'm not crazy this time. It's a gator".

He questions me about the size. I am challenged in this. "His head wasn't really big."

"Was it bigger or smaller than the one on the shore/"

I honestly don't know but I say "the same"

I look over my shoulder to see him peering at the water and paddling more purposefully.

We lose sight of the alligator and paddle the remainder of the way uneventfully. Back at the launch site I was feeling enthused, excited and accomplished.

Another Awkward Girl Adventure complete!